Death's Son
by Penuin
Summary: Death's son is ready to become Deaths partner. But then someone from Death's past returns. Someones gonna die tonight... (Mild language)
1. Default Chapter

Death's Son  
  
Death was stalking the streets of Psudopolis. He was dealing with a plague of Scrofula*. He soon came across a small boy, no more than a baby, all alone, because both his parents had been taken. The boy could apparently see him, and, as Death started to leave, the boy crawled after him, unknown to Death. He crawled towards Binky and climbed in a saddlebag, where he stayed as Death continued to do his Duty.  
  
*Needless to say, he had very little to do.  
  
A cry from the saddlebag of Binky alerted Albert to the boy hidden there. Death had come back home, and Albert was putting Binky away. This was usually done by Death, but he always left this to Albert after the Plagues because he needed to check the settings of death.  
  
"Here, now, who are you?" said Albert.  
  
"WAHHH!" replied the boy.  
  
Seeing the boy evoked Paternal Feelings* from Albert. Seeing Albert evoked Horror and Disgust from the boy. Albert decided to ask Death what to do with the boy, and so headed inside.  
  
"What should I do with this, Master?" asked Albert, heading into the Control Room, carrying the boy.  
  
WHAT?  
  
"I found this boy in one of the saddle bags, master."  
  
HOW DID IT GET THERE, ALBERT?  
  
"I don't know master."  
  
WELL, IF WE DON'T KNOW WHERE IT CAME FROM, WELL JUST HAVE TO KEEP IT.  
  
"Whatever you say, master."  
  
NOW, WE HAVE TO DECIDE A NAME FOR THE BOY, DON'T WE?  
  
"Hmm. I had an uncle named Cameron, master."  
  
CAMERON, EH? Death replied, watching the boy try to suckle, while at the same time pissing on Albert foot. IT SEEMS TO FIT HIM.**  
  
*Paternal instincts: The need to take a son or daughter on grueling hikes in the rain and saying it builds character. **I am a proud member of the Scottish Clan Cameron!  
  
Cameron had grown into a young man, and he had already started training with the scythe. He only trained on non-human things, because Death realized that would result in unnecessary questions. Today, Death was training on a Talker-Whale. They had evolved to have the biggest, loudest, most intimidating voice possible. And it knew every language on the disc. Cameron swung the scythe.  
  
"No way I'm goin' wid ya, laddie!"  
  
"Did I say you have too?"  
  
"HUH?"  
  
"What you think happens to you after death does. I just hope you didn't think you were going to hell, because if you did, you are."  
  
"Damn."  
  
"Yeah, you probably are."  
  
As Cameron stalked off, he was intercepted by Death, who had been watching from afar.  
  
GOOD JOB.  
  
"Yeah. Clean cut too. Hey, Dad?"  
  
WHAT?  
  
"Can I make my own scythe and sword?"  
  
WHY?  
  
"Because you said that WHEN I CAN TALK LIKE THIS I would be completely trained."  
  
HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN ABLE TO DO THAT?  
  
"About a year."  
  
OH. NOW WHY DO YOU WANT A SWORD? YOU KNOW I NEVER USE IT.  
  
"Dad, I know all about humans."  
  
WHAT?! HOW?! I NEVER TOLD YOU.  
  
"Do you really trust Albert?"  
  
NO, BUT WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH... OH.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
WELL, YOU DON'T KNOW ALL ABOUT HUMANS. NOBODY DOES, EVEN THEMSELVES.  
  
"Too true. I was reading some of your biographies, and they do really stupid stuff."  
  
I KNOW. THAT'S HOW I MEET MOST OF THEM.  
  
"Some guy named Rincewind is pretty smart, though."  
  
HIM? WELL... I SUPPOSE...  
  
"Always running. And I've seen his life timer as well. Did the glassblower have hiccups that day?"  
  
I THINK SO. WELL, HERE WE ARE.  
  
By the laws of conversation, they had reached their destination in no time at all. While most people do not believe this, it is true.  
  
"Looks like the other three horsemen of the apocalypse are here, too."  
  
"Hello, Death. Cameron." said Famine. "Got any food?"  
  
"NO."  
  
"Hey, the boy can do you're voice!" said War.  
  
"You aren't thinking of taking a break again, are you?" asked Pestilence.  
  
NO. NOW WHAT DO YOU THREE WANT? he asked, heading inside...  
  
In Ankh-Morpork, a wizard for hire cast a spell on the handles of an ordinary garden tool and sword. A thin blue blade emerged from them both. The person who hired the wizard laughed evily. Shadows covered his face, but there was a suggestion of ghastly disfigurement. Someone's gonna die tonight... 


	2. A Revalation

Susan Sto Helit stepped out of the classroom as the school day ended. She was very mad. Death of Rats had come in today and entertained the children, because children can see what is really there. Then he took another hamster. The darn things had already cost her fifty dollars, and she was getting past frustrated. But she did not expect what happened next.  
  
Binky came flying down out of the sky, and landed next to Susan on his back was a boy of fourteen years of age. Susan was startled a bit first, but then she got mad.  
  
"If you have stolen that horse, you do not realize how much trouble you are in!" she exclaimed.  
  
"I didn't steal it. Are you Susan Sto Helit?" asked Cameron.  
  
"What? Why? Who are you?" she replied. Then she recalled that Death of Rats had said something about Death adopting a boy to train him as a partner, not a child. Death had learned his lesson the first time. But that was only six months ago! Unless...  
  
"Death invites you to come to visit. I don't know why. I am Death's son, Cameron, by adoption. I have only spent six months total in this timeframe. That is why you only heard about me six months ago." he replied.  
  
"Umm... OK, I guess... Now, are you going to be stupid and arrogant and male and not let me drive Binky, or are you going to be a gentleman and let me control him?" Even out of school, Susan taught good manners.  
  
"You can control Binky?" Cameron asked, bewildered. "I thought he just knew where to go!"  
  
"Good. Now I know that you're telling the truth. Let's go, Binky." Said Susan as Binky took flight.  
  
"Hey! Grandfather's house is the other way!" yelled Susan, after a few seconds.  
  
"I know! We have to get Chaos, as well!"  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Master seemed really upset when he sent me. I think someone has upset the nature of casuality. No, actually, they probably made it furious." said Cameron.  
  
"Wizards? They're always making creatures from the dungeon dimensions appear." asked Susan.  
  
"No. They are not this stupid, even though it may seem that way sometimes." replied Cameron.  
  
As they arrived at Ronnie's Dairy, Ronnie rushed out, carrying his sword.  
  
"'Bout time you got here! Let's go, no small talk, OK?" he yelled at Cameron and Susan, climbing on Binky. They left for Death's house, and arrived as they left. If Death's horse wants to travel through time, you don't argue.  
  
"What is going on, Grandfather?" asked Susan, after the hubbub had died down. Death, War, Famine, Pestilence, Chaos, Susan, and Cameron were all present in a new room that no one had ever seen before, except Death himself.  
  
YOU WILL SEE. said Death, pressing a button on the wall. A panel slid back "He must have spent months on this." though Susan, as the panel revealed... the taker of worlds, the Death of galaxies...Azrael.  
  
YES, WHAT IS IT, DEATH? asked Azrael.  
  
SOMEONE IS TRYING TO BECOME ME. IT IS NOT ONE OF YOUR SERVENTS, THE AUDITORS, BUT A HUMAN. IT IS NOT MY GRANDAUGHTER OR MY SON, BUT SOMEONE THAT SHOULD BE GONE. CAN YOU TELL ME WHO IT IS? BECAUSE THEY ARE TRYING TO BE ME, I CANNOT TELL. asked Death.  
  
IS THAT ALL? I THOUGHT YOU WOULD HAVE FIGURED IT OUT BY NOW. ONLY ONE PERSON IN THE HISTORY OF THE MULTIVERSE HAS BEEN THAT CRAZY. replied Azrael.  
  
NEVERTHELESS, I CANNOT TELL. replied Death.  
  
VERY WELL, I WILL TELL YOU. DO YOU RECALL A MAN NAMED TEATIME? said Azrael. 


End file.
